RESTROOM DIALOGUES

Restroom conversations are funny and it is even funnier when you are the topic of the conversation without them knowing that you are inside in one of those cubicles listening.

I had my head shaved last Friday and If you ask me how I look? With a more fit phsyique now (thanks to Slimmers World) and a shaved head, I look like a a plebe of the Philippine Military Academy. After sporting that spiky, hip haircut, some people couldn't just but help how different I look. This is true with my teammates of the Praise Team in church.

In between our early morning rehearsal and the 8:45 service in church, I went to the rest room. While I was inside the cubicle, I heard three person who came in, from their voices i recognized them as Paolo (our drummer), Joel (one of the vocalist) and Rox (our bassist). They were talking bout something else, then Paolo said, "astig talaga ang buhok ni Kuya Eric." (Don't ask me to translate astig in English). Paolo was obviously making a comment on my new hairstyle to which Joel asnwered, "well, at least it looks okay on him, at least he looks manly now." Then the three of them were laughing.

At that instant, I was tempted to go out of the cubicle and say "did I hear my name mentioned?" But I decided not to. I waited for them to went out, before I came out.

There used to be a time when I would feel terribly bad when I know people are talking about me and my sexuality. My teammates conversation, of course, insinuated on my sexuality, but i didn't feel bad. I have come to point of accepting who really I am. And if accepting who I am comes with a challenge then I am more willing to face it rather than living in denial. I have spent quite a number of years in denial that I have already grown tired of defending myself whenever the issue on my sexuality becomes the topic.

Let them talk about my sexuality, I don't care! For people can talk endless about it, but would that do me any good? I don't know, but what matters to me now is how I live my life and how I earned people's respect out of the things that I do.

People can talk about my sexuality, but as long as it won't affect the flow of money in my pocket (which for now comes in in trickles, hehehehe) or affects the things that I love to do, their conversation won't matter to me. I have learned to live with that and accept it as part of my reality.