BADING SI MARIA CLARA AND IBA PA

What if Maria Clara is a babaeng bakla? How will she behave? I've got this forwarded message the other day and I can't help but laugh everytime i read this:

Maria Clara: Padre Damaso ano po ba ang lihim na inyong tinatago?
Padre Damaso: Wala iha, ako ay alagad ng Diyos.
Maria Clara: Tsaring Eh bat sabi ng mga tsenilin, ineklavu mo raw si. . .
Padre Damaso: O s'ya, aaminin ko na sayo. Pumatol ako sa . . .
Maria Clara: Oh my Gadd! Tama ang tsismaks! Tsinupangga mo ang tsakness na sakristan mayor!
Padre Damaso: Ano ang pinagsasabi mo? Ako ang iyong ama . . .
Maria Clara: Eeww! so anong ibig mong palabasin? Bi ka? Ganun?

DON'T CALL ME FRIEND

Don't call me friend if you can't be truthful to me!
Don't call me friend if all you have been telling to me are all lies!
Don't call me friend if you even won't tell me who you really are!
Don't call me friend when all you do is just to bother me with your phone calls!

You think I am a fool?
You think that I wouldn't know that you are lying to me?
You have told me too many lies already
Too many that your lies has become too obvious!

You can be my friend even if you are not rich.
You can be my friend even if you don't live in those fancy villages in Makati
You can be my friend even if your other friends are not goodlooking
You can be my friend even if you don't really have a jetsetting life.

I can accept you as who you are
Just be true to yourself and to me
But if your can't, then stop bothering me
My hours are too precious just to listen to your lies!